What does the death of a newborn in hospital look like?

They have been waiting for weeks, they are born very early, and before they are settled for good, their parents often have to say goodbye to them. premature babies And although they were only in the world for a moment, they left behind a huge void, sadness and hope as well. In the next part of the author’s cycle, “Goodbye,” Adam Barabas talks to Oliya Maikovska, a midwife in the neonatal ward.

Work in the neonatology department

Oliwia passionately talks about her work. There is a glint in his eyes that distinguishes those who have found their place on Earth. However, she says directly that a profession that gives her great satisfaction can be a huge burden on the psyche.

She frankly admitted: “It’s paranoid to call them talismans.” – I started the training period in the first year of study. The academic year began in October, and studies at the department began in November. However, we had psychology in the third year. All this time, I was involved with my friends in various situations, and the classes for which she was scheduled to prepare me were two years later. When I was in the hospital for the first time, I was doing tests for a pregnant patient, during which it was found that her pregnancy was not growing and the baby would not survive. I didn’t know what to do at all. I put my hand on her shoulder because that was all I could think of – He adds.

As she assures, she can always count on the support of the team. In really difficult situations, it may turn out to be insufficient. She boldly says that she hasn’t developed any defense system within her. He remembers the faces of young children and parents who often face his death or illness rather than celebrate the birth of a child. She also does not hide that when she learns that one of her relatives is expecting the birth of a child, dark scenarios begin to accumulate in her head.

– At every stage I think about what could happen – he admits. – I try to be happy, but even recently there have been situations between people close to me that everything did not go according to plan. Since I’ve been working in neonatology, I’ve realized that many pregnancies don’t end well. I recently read that preterm births account for about 2 percent. All deliveries. It is said that it is not much. I’m just so lucky and unlucky to see them all – He’s pointing out.

Talk about death

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Olivia smiles sweetly when I ask if any of the situations are particularly memorable for her.

– Those were the first months of my work – he recalls. – This child did not die in our ward. He went after leaving the hospital. I remember this boy’s name. I remember his parents who come to the hospital every day to sit beside his bed. I remember that they sang to him the song “Bubbletea” Quebonafide in the suite, which to this day reminds me of the boy’s face. She says in a cracked voice.

I miss you I don’t lie like a bad guy I can use a cut But I’ll take a ball in my bubbles I miss you Nostalgia is a flash You fly into the night Such moths like us with passion

Farewell rooms are being set up in many hospitals. Contrary to popular belief, it is not only intended for women who have decided to have a child with fatal defects. It can be used by parents whose children were stillborn or in the case of a pregnancy that ended in miscarriage.

“I can’t imagine that these parents will have to go through such difficult moments in a place that does not provide them with privacy,” says Olivia firmly. “They should have a moment to be alone with the child, even if he is dying or dead. I think this is a very good place and should be in every hospital,” he adds.

newborn death

When I ask what happens after a newborn dies in hospital, Priority takes me to the intensive care unit. “Here they know how to move forward,” – he says, introducing me to a classmate of Cassia.

– When a very immature premature baby is born and is about to survive, we try to agree with the parents on the course of action as much as possible – explains Kasia, who works in the neonatal intensive care unit. – A board in our hospital includes: gynecologists, neonatologists, obstetricians, psychiatrist, psychiatrist, as well as the patient and the closest family she identifies. If a woman desires, a clergyman can participate in it. When the parents say so, the baby is baptized and we, the midwives and nurses do. If there is time for this and the baptism is planned, for example in the event that a child is born with serious fatal defects or the child’s health deteriorates and the decision to stop continuing treatment comes, the hospital chaplain comes. If a decision is made to provide palliative care, We provide the newborn with thermal comfort, breathing support and palliative therapy. The most important thing then is contact with the parents: the possibility of saying goodbye, hugging, and kangarooing. First of all, we make sure to give parents the time they need – she confirms.

The staff also prepares a special package for parents.

– We continue with the last souvenirs: ID bands – clean diapers – blood pressure bracelet – ID card from the incubator – footprint and handprint, which we often do with stamp ink – it counts. If a child hugs its parents for the last time, it is after a kangaroo We give the parents a blanket with the scent of a childWhich we close in a bag of twine.

Apart from a number of professional activities for which the medical staff is prepared and trained, the staff says goodbye to the child in a symbolic way. As nurses and midwives admit, small gestures give hope and allow you to get used to the loss. In the hospital where Kasia works, children wear special hats and are wrapped in matching horns. It is provided by the “Rainbow Blanket” Foundation.

We sew and sew cones, hats, robes and cradles for miscarriages, premature, lethal and hyper-pregnant women. You can’t buy such little clothes in a store to bury your child with dignity, so we want to help parents reduce worry about it in these difficult moments.

An integral part of the group Do not forget as a sign of the memory of parents, and the butterfly – a symbol of lost children. The foundation, which cooperates with 397 hospitals throughout Poland, also offers a small cradle for babies born before 10 weeks of pregnancy.

– Each ward behaves differently when the patient leaves – says Kasia. – For some, the staff lights a candle, and we open the windowSo that the soul of the angel does not wander the corridors and go to heaven.

Saying goodbye in neonatal units can also have a positive dimension. After all, there are also patients who are heading for life.

– We had twins on the ward, and my mother gave up on adoption – a priority reveals. – The new parents came to visit them for the first time during a shift. I was very motivated and gave my best. When the meeting took place, I untied the girls and exchanged them by name, introducing them to the new mother and father. I asked if they wanted to take them. They sat down and handed them the packages. They returned the next day. The woman approached me and said, “The lady will always be the one who gave me my children for the first time.” These are the moments when I won’t trade my job for anyone else – it sums it up.

The end is always the same Fairly predictable and ruthlessly fair. In my original series “Farewell” I want to learn about the topic of leaving. We pass, and there is nothing unusual about that. Why are we afraid to talk about it? You can pretend the subject isn’t there, but that doesn’t change the fact that no one will have more than they are meant to.

Do you want to share your story? Email me: adam_barabasz@discovery.com.

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