About motherhood | Niedziela.pl

My grandmother, who is 91 years old today, gave birth to her children when she was 20. At the age that I am now, I am a grandmother, while my young son is still in kindergarten.

life balance

Today, many of my friends, who are almost 40 years old, are giving birth to their second, third and sometimes first children. We already have a piece of our professional and personal life behind us, which we don’t always want to give up in order to devote ourselves only to raising children. We make the decisions back to work easier. It is not just about reforming the family budget, women often prefer not to leave the labor market, and share responsibilities related to raising children with their husbands.

There was another phenomenon that is now fading away: extended families. There was always a retired grandmother or aunt who willingly supported the mother in taking care of the baby/children. Today, young mothers locked in lumps, far from their families, are forced to rely only on themselves. They often seek support from mothers who have had a similar parenting experience. There are many mother profiles on social networks. There, women support each other and exchange views on issues of raising and feeding children; Health topics are discussed, and even such as getting back into shape and form before birth. Are these support groups a sign of the times? Yes, definitely.

The modern mother does not want to be a stereotypical Polish mother who dedicates herself to her husband and children, without thinking about her needs. We all know the saying “It is empty and Solomon does not hurt.” More and more women understand this, and in order not to turn into frustrations, subconsciously rely on the fact that everyone will appreciate their dedication – they act, they want to be active, prove themselves in other areas. Then, contrary to appearances, they can give more to the children. After all, taking care of your needs does not mean neglecting your children. Let’s make a pact: There comes a time, especially after a baby is born, when his needs are paramount. Over time, we can take some time for ourselves – and let that be okay too. Have you always loved to read? – back to it; Is the spiritual and intellectual field important? – developed it; A date with my husband – fight for it! Remember that your children will also benefit from this, they do not like the complaints of their mothers.

new challenges

Is being a mother in the twenty-first century easier than it used to be? Because it’s different, we already know. Taking into account the technological and industrial development, it seems that raising an infant today is easier. Disposable nappies, wet wipes, strollers on springs, automatic washers, and powdered milk that dissolves in water after a few shakes of the bottle – these are modern conveniences. It may seem a lot easier than it used to be, but motherhood is still a huge challenge. There are also many ways to raise children. Society is changing, and in it – the role of a man and a woman, so the expectations of the mother are different, so it is easy to get lost.

The modern mother lives under pressure. The consumer scientist tells her that the baby is a pink baby with soft skin and a sweet smile – after all, this image appears in commercials and serials. There, after childbirth, the woman looks as if a stork brought her the baby, she has hairstyles and clothes like fashion salons. Many women probably remember the beginnings of motherhood, when like weeks merged into a monotony … and this doubt as to whether I was taking good care of my baby. Tired of a new call, the woman herself no longer knows what her thoughts and what suggestions seep into the subconscious. Another phenomenon: Mom dreams of finally leaving the house, getting rid of the diapers and talking to an adult. When you succeed, he looks at the phone all the time and checks if the babysitter has called by chance. Later it could get worse. We regret that the child ate a white roll instead of a balanced plate – this kind of dilemma usually occurs during our kindergarten. Then the young mother also wonders if the swimming pool once a week is not enough, and only if the child is enrolled in more English and ballet …

As children reach adolescence, the woman remembers her mother’s words, “Little child – little trouble, big child – big trouble.” How can you not believe her?!

Cord …

A certain priest, who witnessed the last moments of the life of his concern, once said to me: – These women, when they were at the end of their lives, did not speak of their diplomas and academic titles, and none of them boasted of their testimonies. Wealth or high position they held. The 90-year-old said: Today’s my daughter’s birthday, another: There is something I regret that I devoted so little time to children.

Dear mothers, no matter if you have given birth to one, two or more children, no matter if you have made the decision to raise them personally or take advantage of the support of a nursery, kindergarten, nanny or grandmother, I believe that you are someone for your children that is very, very important and at some point From life – and most importantly. Love your children for who they are, and not for who they are, and give them your awareness and support, and they will answer you the same – what I wish for you and yourself.

Do ideas about motherhood differ from reality and how? What are the challenges facing Polish mothers now?

Anya

Ideas about motherhood are the same as the sun. There was no such rapidly changing sentiment in them; There were no illnesses, no worries, no worries. Being a mother means constantly thinking about and being with the children.

The biggest challenge is to keep a distance and at the same time get each child involved in the emotional world. A healthy balance between being a mother and being a woman. Being available and flexible 24 hours a day, 7 days a week is also quite a challenge. The greatest joy for me as a mother is the moments spent together, such as vacations and sightseeing, but also, or perhaps most of all, reading books in the evening and kissing and looking into each other’s eyes.

Veronica

Before I became a mother, I was building my own ideas of what I would like to be. The first child put me on my shoulder, I did not expect such difficulties, including severe physical fatigue. The time when children grew up and their needs changed, the time when so did. With each subsequent child – and we now have four of them – on the one hand it was easier, and on the other – I’m more careful about using carbon paper, because every child is different. Today I trust myself more, have more peace, less ideal, and my husband and I look for ways to be closer to my children.

Every day I face challenges that come from the world: I’m meant to be a good mother, a wife, a professional, have passion, look beautiful, but also with the expectations we set for ourselves, women. I already know that I don’t have to be the “best” of all around, that I have a choice, I learn to let go, and find balance. I want to be in harmony with myself, to be able to change my mind and look for new solutions.

My priorities change, but one thing does not change: I want God to be first and family to be most important to me. Today I am more aware that in nurturing relationships I am just as important as other family members, even though children necessarily need our commitment. I realized that I had to take care of myself, because my safety affected my relationships with my husband and children. Love and bonding are the most important, relationship and closeness are born from listening and working together.

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