The art of doing what matters. Crisis Guide

Fear and despair effectively paralyze us from confronting our values. They provide protection from an encounter that could be painful and difficult. How to deal with this?

No matter how we react to a particular crisis, we usually have one goal: to get rid of pain and negative emotions as quickly as possible, and to find our chip. We all need to be away from pain for a while in order to deal with it later. Buy some time to find a solution. However, this avoidance also leads to a loss of our sight and priority lists of the things that give our lives meaning and purpose. Unwanted feelings return quickly, and we have less and less strength to overcome them.

Putting aside your goals and values ​​for the so-called better times creates an emotional and existential divide that makes problem and well-being worse. The circuit is closed. In the difficult moments of life, it is worthwhile to realize that our target often has to face the pain for the moment. Struggling for it also means failures and failures that can cause crises. Sometimes the only way to resolve such a dilemma is to internally accept that pain may arise. The more we care about something, the bigger it is.

To do the really important things that may cause you to face difficult emotions, it is worth analyzing a few things and having an honest conversation with yourself. Dr. Stephen C. Hayes, a psychologist at the University of Nevada, advises you to re-examine what is important to us at these crucial moments. In his opinion, two steps that must be followed will help to overcome the crisis – the expert calls them the art of doing what is really important in life.

If you ask random people (or friends) what is most important to them in life, you will probably hear one of the many answers: family, health, happiness, money, and success. It’s possible that Sam might be instinctive too, you’d give exactly the same. However, have you ever wondered what this really means? What is behind the word family? Do you have a family or spend a lot of time with them, or maybe something else? Health – Doesn’t it get sick, or have a real impact in keeping you healthy? When we start thinking about what we want and what we value most in our lives, we see many things from a completely different perspective. What is really important cannot be an empty word.

How do you learn to do important things and not lose sight of them even when everything seems meaningless? According to the psychologist, you have to do two very important things.

In order not to get lost in life, you need not only to know where you want to go, but also to know the right direction to go. Each of us has our own values ​​and goals in life. Unlike your goals, your values ​​never end, they always are. No matter what goals you may achieve in life, you will still be interested in certain features of your actions and being. Contrary to appearances, it may take longer to determine the values ​​that interest you. This is a fundamental issue that you need to think carefully about.

Ask yourself some questions:

  • What is most important to you?
  • What characteristics do you want to give to your activities?
  • What kind of person do you want to be?

The most important thing is to be honest with yourself. It is impossible to live in harmony with the values ​​of others. Values ​​are always your choice. It does not come from duty, shame, obedience, or pressure. You don’t have to explain to anyone. It’s your choice.

You can use your values ​​as a guide to help you make difficult decisions and choices in your life. Values ​​can also change throughout life – and there’s nothing wrong with that. We change, mature, learn and see the world differently, so other things become more important to us.

It is not enough to choose what matters. If you want your values ​​to truly change your life, you must also act on them. This is perhaps the most difficult step, but also the most important.

It all comes down to a seemingly simple question: How do you bring your values ​​into your life? It is interesting that it is not enough to answer this question once, go back to it often, you will probably get different answers each time.

Your values ​​may change over the course of your life. However, what does not change is the ability to take care of yourself and your mental needs. When you feel like you’re in a crisis, try to focus on your values ​​again, even if at first you find yourself hurting.

Source: psychologytoday.com

Leave a Comment